I'm a huge fan of the classic 1980-1982 ABC-TV series "Bosom Buddies", in which we all know Tom Hanks got his big break playing Kip Wilson who, along with his buddy Henry Desmond (played by Peter Scolari) posed as women (Buffy and Hildegard) so that they could live in an all-girls hotel while pursuing their dreams of becoming an actor and writer, respectively. In my opinion, this was Tom Hanks' finest hour, allowing him to display his natural flair for comedy, as well as make a comedically attractive female. For those two glorious seasons, you knew where I'd be Thursday nights at 8:30! (Check out my awesome website, www.buffyandhildegard.com, for the biggest selection of "Bosom Buddies" screencaps on the web!!)

Tom Hanks (right) shares a laugh with his charming wife Rita Wilson, on the ROAD TO PERDITION set.

Ever since "Bosom Buddies" went off the air (cruelly cancelled by ABC just when it was hitting its peak), I've followed the career of Tom Hanks, hoping to see him regain the spark of comedic genius he displayed on this classic series. Year after year, film after film, I've waited to see him reach the heights at which he soared on the show, waited to see screwball hi-jinks that matched the adventures of Buffy and Hildegard, and most of all, waited to see him in drag again. Sadly, after all these years, I'm still waiting.

"Of all the churches, and all the wigs, you had to walk into THIS church wearing THAT wig..."

It's not like there haven't been plenty of opportunities for Mr. Hanks to wear a dress again, it's just that the Hollywood higher-ups can't seem to see the comedic and dramatic opportunities that having their star in a dress can afford (Hello!?! TOOTSIE??!!??).

I went into SPLASH with high hopes, I mean, this was the first movie Tom Hanks did after "Bosom Buddies", and certainly his work on the show was what got him hired for this in the first place. Well, no luck. I figured that maybe the dress part got cut out, but when I saw THE MAN WITH ONE RED SHOE (Hello......SPY MOVIE! Plenty of opportunities for covert drag action!!) and he failed to don a floral pattern, my heart sank. Each additional Tom Hanks movie I've seen (and I've seen them all with hope in my heart) has continued to keep him dressed as a man for the duration: NOTHING IN COMMON (could've cheered up his ailing father by putting on a dress), TURNER AND HOOCH (undercover as a street-walker with the dog would have been a hoot!), PHILADELPHIA (his sensitive gay lawyer could have been a CROSS-DRESSING sensitive gay lawyer, and would have added extra dimension to the story), SAVING PRIVATE RYAN (could've posed as a WAC to evade German detection), CAST AWAY (almost can give points to this one, as he did have long hair and a loincloth that could be viewed as a miniskirt) .....the list of missed opportunities goes on and on.

Two characters cut from Reservoir Dogs, Mrs. Fuchsia and Mrs. Teal, just before they fire several rounds into a clerk at Taco Bell.

I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you, but Tom Hanks' latest movie, THE ROAD TO PERDITION, is no different than the rest. You'd think that in a story about a mob hit-man on the run with his young son, there would be numerous opportunities for his 30's gangster (and even the boy) to put on a dress and travel "in disguise", BUT NO. Here he just keeps on traveling, looking like he did when he started off. DUH! Everybody knows what he looks like, and he never thinks that putting on a dress and posing as a woman would throw his pursuers (including Jude Law, who ALSO could have put on a wig and high heels to elude Tom Hanks) off. Even the legendary Paul Newman shows up, and again misses the opportunity to add a drag scene to his fine body of work.

I guess the movie was okay aside from that, but for me it's really all about Tom Hanks returning to form, and we just don't get that here.

What a waste.

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Susan Pendt is the webmaster for www.buffyandhildegard.com, featuring the biggest selection of "Bosom Buddies" screencaps on the web.