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Analysis: Fantastic Four
by Mark, Rick, Matt, and Tom
28 August 2005
Matt: I enjoyed Fantastic Four
for what it was: a shaggy-dog of a technically-flawed special effects
pic by a guy who really shouldn't been in charge, Tim Story. But
that's what happens when you ask for a blockbuster from a guy who's only
done hair cutting comedies and a Jimmy Fallon "movie." Fox
should've learned from Sony's Spider-Man movies... "Always
get a real fan." That way, everybody's happy. Better than
Hulk and Blade: Trinity, it's a decent
sub-flick that suffers from not trying hard enough or possibly not knowing
how. As a Fantastic Four fan from childhood, for me seeing
this movie was rather like what I imagine watching your child in a school
play might be like-- they might stumble and miss a line or two but you
still enjoy it because it's your child and you love them.
I give it **1/2 out of four (good/not very-good). It could've
been a lot better (if, say, one of us were directing) but could've been
much worse (Corman version).
Tom: I concur almost entirely. Tim Story really feels like a studio approved fill in for the original guy, Bring It On director Peyton Reed. When he was originally announced as the Fantastic Four directed I was excited. Although he didn't have the effects experience, his films Bring It On and Down With Love are smart and have a tone that would have worked well in an FF movie. He bailed for unknown reasons and we were left with a scrub.
Rick: I was totally ambivalent about this film. It filled me a languor bordering on malaise. It was technically proficient, but lacking in all the elements of storytelling that made me really "care" about the characters, plot, themes, etc. It was a 2 stars affair by the skin on a spider's ass.
Mark: I went into this film with no real agenda. I read the comic a few times as a kid, but hold it no closer to my heart than, say, Iron Man or The West Coast Avengers. I had only the basic "who's who' and what they can do" as my baggage. For me, it was all about being an entertaining movie, which I felt it wasn't, on the whole. I agree with everyone on the rushed feel, but even with that it felt like there wasn't all that much going on. On the whole for me it felt like a really expensive 2-hour TV series pilot. Not "bad", just not that good. I guess "oookaayyy..." would be my one-grunt evaluation of it.
Reed Richards
Matt: As a human character, Ioan Gruffudd doesn't have the leading man thing down. He's too light. Not enough of a leader type. As a superhero, his scenes were weak until the final battle when he actually lept to action, finally (which I thought was cool to see). The one shot where he expanded his chin muscles for Alba made him look a lot like Bruce Campbell to me, which I wonder might've been intentional. Hmmm...
Tom: I disagree. I thought Gruffudd worked but that the Mr. Fantastic effects were the weakest of the film. Although he doesn't fit the role agewise, Gruffudd is affable on screen and I enjoyed his presence despite the weakness of the Reed Richards character as written.
Rick: I disliked the Reed Richards character for my own selfish reasons. They got the science geek part right, but in the comics Richards is a LEADER and his presence is always felt! Whether it was poor writing or a poor acting performance, Gruffudd's character lacked all the charisma that is Reed Richards.
Mark: For me, Reed Richards felt kinda weak as a character, but I'm not sure how much of that is a result of a performance that I felt was very "USA Network Original Series", circa 1990. For some reason, whenever I reflect on the film, I see him as always being bug-eyed, like he's always surprised or trying to convince someone of something. I also thought the Mr. Fantastic effects were fakey, but then again I always thought the character looked extremely silly "doing his thing", and could never take him seriously. It works for Plastic Man, who's supposed to be funny and light, but whenever I saw a scene of the Fantastic Four in battle, everyone in the team looked cool except Reed Richards, standing 20-feet tall with long spindly arms and legs. Perhaps that's just me, though.
The Baxter Building
Matt: The outside looked like just another building. The inside was too labby. They own the whole building in the comic. Why not show us? Professor X's Mansion got more play and felt much more real.
Tom: Not too much of a factor for me, but analyzing the logic of the film once again shows it's gaping holes. Richards owns an entire freakin BUILDING(!)... in Manhattan(!!)... but is down-on-his-luck and can't make ends meat? Huh? Reed Richards going to Victor Von Doom for financial help seems like Donald Trump going to Billionaire Mayor Michael Bloomberg to bum a few bucks. Hilariously weak.
Rick: Of all the "hideouts" of super heroes, 4 Freedoms Plaza (aka the Baxter Building) is the least important to these characters, since they are not incognito. While it is part of the FF stories, it isn't the "PLACE" that the Fortress of Solitude or the Batcave or the Xavier School is in other comic storylines. It was a non-entity for me.
Mark: I didn't realize that the building had any special significance while watching the film. It seemed to be presented simply as "where they were". Now I know I was supposed to be impressed. Thanks for letting me know. The film didn't.
Dr. Doom
Matt: Funny as a human. Weak character motivation as a villain. Sure, who doesn't like to see the pretty rich boy asshole's life wrecked scene after scene? But Julian McMahon is little more than a buffer Kevin Spacey. And his voice is far too "light" for Dr. Doom. "C'mon Tim Story!" A little mechanized voice-deepening in the mask would've been more forebodingly cool. (Chasing Alba around his office he sounds like a High School Guidance Counselor getting inappropriate with a Senior Cheerleader). With a deeper voice effect, the Human Torch could even bust out a Darth Vader joke or two -- but that's the lazy writers missing out on a ton of laugh line possibilities. And... If they were going to change Doom's character history then, instead of being a collection piece, Doom's mask could've been some sort of Von Doom Industries wartime prototype body armor that Doom's metal skin grafts onto or gets locked into or something. But... if the effects of the cosmic radiation storm was causing him to turn into a metal man anyway, why does he really need the mask? Budget constraint worries, possibly? Maybe they didn't wanna spring for the T2 software to metal-up his face. As it is, he's weak. And did you notice that Von Doom's apartment was the same building that Norman Osbourn (Dafoe) lived in for Spider-Man? And he collected masks, too. Maybe they're roommates.
Tom: Yeah what is the deal with the mask? Lazy writing indeed as if I'm following the movie correctly, he puts on the classic Dr Doom mask that was just randomly sitting around his house as part of a collection all so that he can look cool!? I don't get it.
Rick: Changing Dr. Doom from dictator of Latveria and a political force was a BIG mistake. He was a total waste in this movie and a laughing-stock as a villain. I cared not at all for him at any point in the film. Some villains I hate, others I root for, this Dr. Doom had less of an impact on me than Cindy-Lou Who.
Mark: (Again with the mask) I felt the same way in that scene....apparently the gift-givers had the foresight to make it exactly the right size for VD to wear it, as opposed to hanging it on a wall like most people would do. The voice thing really stood out to me as well, as I'd always imagined a deep, throaty voice coming out of that mask, like Destro on the G.I. JOE cartoon. Hearing a regular voice making half-assed wisecracks to Sue Storm was a little not-menacing. I didn't think the pre-mask Doom was all that interesting, either. Again, a very TV performance, more annoying than menacing.
The Final Battle
Matt: It's over too soon. It feels more like the Next-To-Final-Battle, as if there were one more scene to get us all crazy that was left on the cutting room floor. But it never happens. Maybe they were going for "smaller" the way the X-Men and Men In Black endings was fun but just a bit over-abrupt as if they're all aiming smaller for Part Ones, planning on bigger super-colossal in Part 2. But in a genre dominated by Spider-Man, you've gotta step up if you wanna make an impression. FF's endgame, while fun, just whets the appetite. I'd heard about rumored rewrites and reshoots for this ending after the success of the too-similar-for Fox's liking The Incredibles. But FF's ending is ripped off from an issue of the Uncanny X-Men comic where the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants turned Colossus into a stone figure in the exact same way... during a NYC street battle. But only us 80's comic nerds know about that one.
Tom: "Over Before It Starts" is an accurate description. After wasting a bulk of the second act on in fighting between the 4, especially belaboring the strained Ben Grimm Johnny Storm relationship (we get it we get it), there's no room left in the final act for a big finish. Instead we get a "Don't let the theater door hit ya on the way out" ending. Weak.
Rick: Possibly the most anti-climactic battle in all of comic-movie history. By that point I was counting the hours to watching The Devil's Rejects. As much as I hated Daredevil, at least that battle had some basic intensity.
Mark: I thought it was OK, nice to see them use their powers as a team, but yeah, it's no Superman II.
Matt: I've read that the upcoming Fantastic Four DVD will feature a longer version of the film with around 10 or 15 minutes but back in that the team didn't have time to finish due to Fox's corporate backside whipping. I really want to see what's there and to hear a commentary where Story and the others talk in depth about the well-known rush job that this movie was. The score by John Ottman was reportedly recorded in five days, the rush was so intense. That, Fox, is no way to make a movie. Please try to learn from that before making the mistake again. One has to wonder if FF could've been a four-star summer movie if the makers had been given adequate time (like, more than a few months). But then again, that's what sequels are occasionally for nowadays... to right the wrongs of their preceding films.
Rick: Longer just means more malaise.
Mark: Last I read, the additions were going to be minor (perhaps the meat is being saved for the inevitable DVD re-release when the sequel comes out), so any wished-for character and story betterments will be uh, not there so much.
The Thing
Matt: Yeah, the suit is a bit off (he should tower over everyone, Hulk style). But Chiklis won me over. And the character was well translated. Girls running from you for being too big and weird looking? Yeah, Thing. I hear ya'. He and Hellboy should have a cross over. I think they'd get along brilliantly.
Tom: As bad he looked in the ads, he kind of works on film. Chiklis is great making the best of his role - as are most of the actors in the film.
Rick: The Thing is by far the best character in the movie and the writers really homed in on his tragic elements. If the story had focused more on building his character and made him the focus of conflict, maybe it would have gotten off the ground.
Mark: Amen, and amen to the Hellboy reference, as, like Ron Pearlman in that film, Chiklis manages to deliver quite a good performance beneath the mounds of costume and make-up. I though the suit looked iffy in the trailers, but Chiklis managed to make me forget about any costume shortcomings with his thespatation. I'm glad they went with a suit rather than CG, as a digital Thing would have looked even more fake. Easily the best thing about the film.
The Human Torch
Matt: He's dumb and he's self centered -- but he is funny. The part where he learns about his supernova status and shouts "Sweet!" made me laugh. The flame effects work well, especially during his flights. He has the best powers, visually. And local hero Chris Evans is a funny guy (Not Another Teen Movie). If they boost Johnny Storm's depth in FF2 by having him grow up a little or have a real hero moments saving kids or the like, he could steal some of the focus from The Thing. I imagine Torch to be the type of hero that saves a Victoria's Secret model from some fatal calamity and then gets her number and beds her that very night. That kind of scene should be in a sequel.
Tom: This character should be a lot more annoying as written but I think Evans does save it. Then again that is the character of Johnny Storm, except for the whole dirt bike thing.
Rick: Johnny Storm is the hothead of the group in the comics, no pun intended, but his character is written to be too childish and to "extreme kid" friendly. I have no problem with the rebel or naughty boy angle, just don't pitch it to knotheads.
Mark: I was annoyed with the character, but assumed that I was supposed to be. It was a little one-note though, especially the Thing interplay. Less of that would have gone farther for me. Hopefully the character will find its groove the next time around.
Jessica Alba as The Invisible Girl
Matt: This is Bad Matty talking now: That face, those glasses, the pony tail... Is there anything better than the "cute brainy girl look?" Only one thing. The "cute brainy girl in a tight superhero costume look." She might be too young for the role but in action scenes she held her own. Ever since Sin City, I've been an Alba supporter. She's more fun than than Biel, Garner, Ricci and most of the new "It" Girls. She might be gorgeous but she's got emotional depth there too, which is nice. And if there's an FF2, I want her to get crazy with the powers. Show us what you've got, Sue Storm. Gimme, gimme.
Tom: You know, I am really over Jessica Alba. In fact, I was over her the second I saw ads for Dark Angel. I get it... she's hot... enough already. If I get one more (insert Trailer Voice): "THIS SUMMER... Watch our movie... because it's got Jessica Alba... and she's HOT! And if you disagree then you're a fag..." I think I'm gonna puke. Oh wait I already did for Into the Blue. Ugh.
Rick: From the standpoint of an older man who loves a pretty girl to gaze at, Ms. Alba is fine beauty, but there are others out there who get my attention faster (e.g. Scarlett Johanssen). From the standpoint of a comic-lover, Ms. Alba is too young to play Sue Storm/Richards. She is unconvincing and the love triangle effort missed its mark badly. She is eye candy in this movie, but in classic FF comics, Sue Richards was usually eye candy too.
Mark: JA is more of those actresses that can be just fine in something if they're given a small amount to do, and not be the focus of attention. I think durn near every male will agree on her photogenic qualities, but I'm still not sure that she's that great an actress. The age aspect didn't bother me, really, as the relative ages of the entire cast made it believable that they would have cause to be in each other's company. As for the love story aspect, I've always felt that if Hollywood could find a way to shoehorn a love story into a prison film ("He was sentenced to life with 1,000 soulless men....but one woman would change his life."), they would, so it wasn't a surprise to me to see it go that way. Often though, as is the case here, a love story gets in the way and bogs down a plot that would otherwise have more room to grow and propel forward without it.
That One Scene Where Doom Lightnings That Guy Through the Chest Cavity
Matt: "Whoo-hoo!" I thought, "Now this is a bad-guy ready to get crazy!!" Sadly, the suggested mayhem never really comes and the movie really needed more of it. But it was great while it lasted.
Tom: That was some pretty surprising violence for a PG13 summer movie, and for that I thank them.
Mark: Ditto. Shocking to see on-screen violence like that in ANY superhero film, especially one with the otherwise "light" feel of FF. But I'm glad they did it. I think it was the one moment where Doom was truly someone to fear.
The overall vibe of the movie
Matt: "Fun" is in short stock in this summer's movies. Star Wars Episode III and War Of The Worlds had it for a while -- considering they were movies about the deaths of millions. Batman Begins was dramatic, cool, and awesome but not a feel-good flick Only Kung-Fu Hustle was more lighthearted fun than the FF this summer. And in a month where London Terrorism and Oppressive Humidity were the top news stories every day, fun was what I needed.
Tom: I agree completely. Although the execution was so disappointingly limp I generously gave the film **1/2 and can forgive a lot of it's short comings because unlike most super hero movie in the last few years it in no way takes itself seriously. It's substantial shortcomings are almost all writing related, namely huge lapses in logic and weak pacing. But it it does try to be a feel good movie which isn't a popular move in this day and age. For that I commend it.
Rick: I really think there is soooooo much out there that was better this summer than FF. It wasn't a bad movie but it really wasn't a good movie either. It will go down in my book as a film that will be forgotten in a year or two and that is the saddest part of all. This is the FF, this movie should have been a hallmark in comic-movie history. What a shame.
Mark: Again, I thought it was OK. Nothing I really feel that I need to re-visit. I can't say I'd shy away from a sequel, if it looked like it was building upon the foundations set by this film, and hopefully improving upon it.
Matt: ...On my trip to New York the other
day, I ended up in Battery Park on the southern tip of the city (where
we must all go soon) to look around. It's also where the scene
of Reed Richards proposing to Sue Storm takes place, overlooking the view
to the Statue Of Liberty. Amongst the flea-market vibe of the barking
knock-off watch salesmen, ice cream vendors and "three-card-monty"
games there were a half dozen or so bootleg movie-on DVD sellers. Of
all their various $5.00 discs being sold of camcorded copies of movies
still in-theaters, I only wanted one. Yep. I bought
a street bootleg of Fantastic Four. I wanted to see parts
of it again... for the fun of it.
Now I'm off to New England Comics to see if they have any of the John
Byrne FF issues I read back in the 80's. :)
mg, tm, rt, mn
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